Day 4- Navigating Ties and Tough Calls: Our Experience with Lip and Tongue Ties
No one prepares you for how many decisions you’ll have to make about your baby’s mouth.
Both of my babies had some form of tongue or lip tie—and each experience was totally different.
With my son, we eventually pursued a revision. The signs were obvious: pain, latch issues, and feeding stress. But with my daughter? It was messier. We knew something was off—she had feeding difficulties at first—but the pain wasn’t consistent, and over time, we got the hang of it.
Still, the mixed messages from providers left me reeling.
In the hospital, one lactation consultant flagged a possible tie. Another disagreed. The pediatrician wasn’t sure. The ENT said there was nothing significant. And we were tired—physically and emotionally. Since there was no active pain and she was feeding, we didn’t pursue a third or fourth opinion.
Months later, at her first dental visit, we were told she did have a significant tongue tie—one that could affect her teeth coming in. But since she was feeding well at that point, we were told we could wait and see.
🧠 The Research Backs Up the Confusion
This experience isn’t uncommon. Schlatter et al., (2019) found that tongue-ties were associated with a 2.6 times greater likelihood of severe breastfeeding problems. But they also noted that not every baby with a tie experiences issues.
While many families report improvements after surgical release, there’s no universal agreement on how to diagnose ties—or even whether intervention is always necessary. Much of the evidence is subjective, and the lack of standard criteria makes it easy to see why so many parents get conflicting advice (Patel, Anthonappa, & King, 2018).
So if you’ve felt like the professionals around you can’t agree, it’s not just you. The system is confusing and not always equipped to support us in making confident, informed decisions.
💭 What It Feels Like
In the moment, it’s hard to feel grounded.
Do I revise and risk doing too much?
Do I wait and risk doing too little?
Do I trust my gut or someone else’s credentials?
We didn’t revise my daughter’s tie. And I still sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if we had. But I also know we made the best decision we could with the information we had.
If You’re in It Now…
If you’re staring down the same maze of choices:
It’s hard!
You’re doing the best you can with the information that you have right now in this moment.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
Your baby’s needs matter. Your experience matters too.
References
Patel, J., Anthonappa, R. P., & King, N. M. (2018). All tied up! Influences of oral frenulae on breastfeeding and their recommended management strategies. Journal of Clinical Pediatric Dentistry, 42(6), 407–413. https://doi.org/10.17796/1053-4625-42.6.1
Schlatter, S. M., Schupp, W., Otten, J. E., Harnisch, S., Kunze, M., Stavropoulou, D., & Hentschel, R. (2019). The role of tongue‐tie in breastfeeding problems: A prospective observational study. Acta Paediatrica, 108(12), 2214–2221. https://doi.org/10.1111/apa.14924
